A Passionate Leader

I love Scripture. It constantly teaches me about things that interest me, it corrects me, and it gives me a passion to help others. As a leader, I need to examine my passion and make sure that it’s in line with what Jesus wants from me. So, let’s look at some positive and negative examples of passion in Scripture.

In a good-news, bad-news scenario, Norman Behymer always chooses the bad news first because he wants to end on a good note. A negative example of passion could be someone like Samson, his unbridled lust for things and the use of his skills to acquire it. One has to wonder what he could have accomplished had he been fully devoted to the Lord.

Let’s look at Absalom from the negative aspect of passion and leadership (2 Sam. 13:22 through 2 Sam. 18:9). The backstory concerns David’s son, Amnon, and the rape of David’s daughter, Tamar. Absalom knew about it. David knew about it but did nothing to correct or punish Amnon. (There are lots of lessons on poor fatherhood from King David here.) Absalom’s anger grew. He murdered Amnon, and David had him banished. When Absalom was allowed to return, he wanted an audience with his father, but David wouldn’t see him. So, Absalom took matters into his own hands.

Absalom’s unbridled passion led to two crimes. There are some lessons to learn from Absalom:

1. Passion will find expression in either healthy or unhealthy ways (14:28–30).

2. Leaders who follow passion defeat leaders who follow protocol (15:13–14).

3. Self-centered passion always skews the judgment of a leader (16:22).

4. Unchanneled and unbridled passion damages everyone around it (chapters 17 and 18).

5. When passion outweighs wisdom, leaders sabotage themselves (18:9).

One key to prevent passion from being unbridled is to learn to submit to the Lord before unleashing your passion. Passion is one of the qualities leaders require for success.

Our positive example comes from Luke 3:2–22. John the Baptist was a passionate man. He paved the way for Jesus and declared Jesus as Lord to everyone. John’s passion was evident before he was even born, leaping in Elizabeth’s womb when Mary, pregnant with Jesus, came near. John learned submission by living in the desert alone before beginning his ministry. Passion sometimes presents itself as eccentricity. John was no different.

So, what gave John his passion?

1. He spent a lot of time alone with God.

Do you?

2. He was consumed by his mission. He knew Jesus’s identity and that he was coming soon, his advent. He urgently paved the way.

Do you know your mission?

3. He was magnetic. John cried out in the wilderness and exhorted many. In the process, he repelled many and attracted many just as a magnet does. If you are concerned about repelling people, your passion is probably not where it should be.

I deal with this problem. Do you?

4. He saw things as black and white. He knew where he stood. He knew what he stood for. His passion defined these for John.

Do you know what you stand for?

5. He took action and expected action from others. He expected the Pharisees to produce fruit to prove their repentance.

As a leader, do you expect action from others?

We live in a society where many people want to be and act like victims. Therefore, people tone down their words and even hold back for fear of stepping on people’s sensitive feelings. Passion becomes extinguished by living in these gray areas of life. But leaders require passion to fulfill the mission given to them by God.

Passion makes for an effective ministry. How effective will your church be in its ministry if every member has the same passion level you have? Here is how you can increase your passion:

Take your own passion temperature. Is your passion hot enough to start fires under the people you lead? Return to your first love. Busy-ness distracts people from their mission. Return to what drives you in your ministry.

Associate with people of passion. Whenever you separate the burning embers of a fire, they eventually go out. Keep your own embers burning by hanging out with others who have passion. If your passion levels are low, find people who exhibit passion, hang out with them, and soon your passion will ignite.

Author: Norman Behymer

Whiskers

I remember the first time I grew any facial hair to speak of. I am not talking about a football mustache (11 hairs on each side). I am talking about something more, something you could actually see, more than just dirt on my face! I remember it because of my little girls.

We had a bedtime ritual for our kids that ended with us kissing them good night and tucking them in. Every night. The same ritual. I was usually glad to get them tucked in knowing that in a few minutes I would have some peace and quiet. Of course, we had to make sure they stayed in bed and didn’t get up and tell us they were thirsty or that they were scared. If you have had kids, you know the drill.

This particular night was on a long holiday weekend, and I had taken a few extra days off. And I had not shaved. And I had some fuzzy facial hair. And it was time to tuck them in! Only this time was different. I leaned in to get my kiss over with, and my littlest girl giggled and then asked for more whisker tickles! I got some extra hugs and giggles that night and have never completely shaved since. Even as they grew up, I was always looking for a chance to get a tickle in.

If you are a father and you have a daughter, you need to give her a lot of masculine touches. Her little soul is craving it and needs it for proper psychological development. This is especially true through the adolescent years. Often, it will feel awkward, but she needs lots of hugs from you, and if you are not willing, she will find them from somewhere else. She also needs some extended time in your presence where you’re totally engaged with her. This can happen in the car on trips to games or to the movies, but you need to be present and not distracted.

Many women today are confused about their “identity,” and I believe it’s because they haven’t experienced godly masculinity. They need to be cherished and protected, and your little ladies will learn this from you. One of the things I did with my girls was to take them on “dates.” We would go get some ice cream or go somewhere. It usually wasn’t that time-intensive, but I made an effort to be with them.

As they grew older and got closer to dating, I would take them out and show them how their dates should treat them. I also told them that if they were ever treated less than that, to call me and I would come and get them. I wanted them to know that they were much loved and cherished.

I never had a problem, but it was probably because not many guys had the privilege of getting to go out with one of my girls. I had some hard-and-fast rules about dating and hardly any guys could meet the demands. The thing that scared most of them away was they had to sit down with me and ask permission. Crazy—simply making them ask for permission was a big filter.

My now-adult daughters are happily married and are beautiful young women who know that they are cherished. Their husbands cherish them. My girls know that they are special. And I still try to sneak a whisker tickle in!

Author: Dr. Curtis Brown

To My Dear Friend Gaius

I’m convinced that our spiritual and physical health work off one another. Meaning, if we are lacking in one of those areas but start making changes to improve, it can positively affect the other area.

Simply, we cannot just focus on our spiritual life and ignore our physical life. We are spiritual beings who have been placed in a physical body. And the Bible calls us stewards of all we have, not owners (Matthew 25:14–30).

Don’t get me wrong. If someone is very much in physical shape but ignoring their spiritual life, they are worse off than someone being in great spiritual shape but ignoring their physical health. (Read 1 Timothy 4:8.) Either way, let’s not choose which one to excel in, but let’s strive to excel in both. Because they both can affect the other.

There is an interesting verse at the end of the New Testament that can show us the importance of excelling in our spiritual and physical health.

John writes these words to his friend Gaius:

“To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” —3 John 1–2

John wrote that his “soul is getting along well.” Meaning, his spiritual health is going great. But notice that John contrasted his spiritual health with a desire that Gaius “enjoy good health…”

These verses teach us that it’s good to excel in both our spiritual and physical health.

With that said, I want to give you three simple challenges that I believe can help you excel in your physical health. There are probably ten things I could share, but I want to keep it simple and achievable.

1. Fast from fast food.

Eating out less, I believe, not only helps us physically but also financially.

If you want a hamburger, make one at home. Take your lunch to work.

Let eating out be an occasional thing, and not a consistent thing.

2. Drink half your body weight in water (ounces).

Start measuring your water and try to drink half your body weight in water. So, if you’re 250 pounds, try to drink 125 ounces of water daily. If this feels too much, at least drink 64 ounces of water daily.

I try to have a good amount of water first thing in the morning to start my day off right and get a head start on my water intake.

3. Walk 10,000 steps a day.

This is very important. I have watched so many studies that show walking 10,000 steps a day can decrease many health factors.

I recently bought a Fitbit to track my steps. I sometimes wear it on my wrist and often keep it in my pocket. These can be a great motivation to help us get moving and strive for 10,000 steps a day.

If you do not desire to get a device that keeps track of your steps, try to walk for an hour and a half every day, or at minimum one, hour every day. This can be broken up throughout the day as well. Also, try to walk for a little bit every morning. Studies show this is good for our brains and can help us get a jump start on achieving our walking goals.

Investing in a cheap treadmill can help you accomplish walking more.

God bless you, my brothers. May God help us be in good health spiritually and physically for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31)!

Author: Abraham Wright, Teaching Pastor CRBC

Boost

I was recently reminded of the truth that Jesus taught and John recorded in John 15:18–19: “If the world hated you, be aware that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you do not belong to the world, but I chose you out of the world, for this reason the world hates you.”

I recently posted one of our podcasts on Facebook. It was one in which Aaron and I talked with Dr. McAnear about godly marriage. I am an old guy and confess I do not know much about Facebook, but after I posted the podcast, Facebook sent me a link where I could “increase my reach” and boost my post for ten dollars. I thought I would give it a try. I hit the little blue “boost your post” button and was immediately given options on who I wanted to reach. Being naïve and not really knowing what I was doing, I picked the 18–65-year-old men demographic. The idea was to send this link to our podcast on godly marriage to other men.

I actually think it’s one of our better podcasts and thought men would benefit from listening. But the majority of “men” who responded would not agree. They left some of the most vile and hate-filled comments I have ever read. I quickly deleted their vulgar comments and learned a lesson. Most 18–65-year-old men on Facebook do not agree with Jesus about marriage! And I am sure they didn’t listen to the podcast!

I know it’s really just a small thing to be trolled on Facebook, but it does paint a picture of sorts. These people who are so hate-filled and anti-God are not likely to hear the truth from a stranger. These are the people Jesus told us to love and to serve, to bless and not curse.

We need to be wise on how we interact with those who are far from God. I think if I lead with my podcast or something similar, I’m going to just offend a fairly large percentage of them and not even have a chance to have a conversation with them. I do not want to shy away from His truth, but I also have to earn the right from these people to tell them my story.

It’s definitely a challenge to speak to others about our faith in today’s culture. We have to earn the right to tell them our story. We do this by listening to them nonjudgmentally and getting to know them. This takes time, effort, and energy. It’s after we get to know them and learn how to serve them that we then can earn the right to tell them our story.

So be wise and know that He has your back. Pray for those around you that you might have an opportunity to listen to them and learn how to serve them. Then maybe you can send them a link to our podcast!

Probably not going to boost any more posts on Facebook!

Author: Dr. Curtis Brown

I Have Never Been This Old

I have the privilege of being the primary care provider of many older patients. I’ve watched and learned a lot from all of them. There are examples of lives I want to emulate and other examples I want to avoid. One common theme that runs through both camps is wondering if their problems are normal aging problems, or if there is perhaps something more sinister they should worry about. After all, if you’ve never been this old before, how do you know what it's like? Is that knee pain a problem I need to deal with? Is my memory really getting bad? Why do I hurt all over?!

Of course, the answers always can differ from one person to another, but it helps to compare your experience to others in similar age groups and circumstances. This section of The Memo is generally written for the older reader. Dave has written many great pieces for this section on dealing with retirement, and I want to keep the theme going. If you haven’t read his previous work, I highly recommend going back and spending a little time on them, which you can do here.

I have done a simple internet search on statistics on retirement. I think they are fairly accurate numbers. Certainly, they get us in the ballpark and I think it helps to compare. After all, we’ve never been this old before! So, what follows are some basic stats. Draw your own conclusions as to where you are on this journey.

The national average age to retire is 64. In Oklahoma, the average age is 62. Oklahoma has the third lowest average age for retirement and is one of the most affordable states to retire in. Yahoo! Finance estimates that to retire comfortably in Oklahoma, it will cost about $48,700 a year.

The average Social Security monthly benefit is $2,484. The average American who is 65 and older spends about $4,100 a month. It’s estimated that more than 40% of Americans rely on Social Security to cover more than half of their monthly living expenses.

The Employee Benefit Research Institute has estimated that the average 60-to-65-year-old with median income ranging from $71,000 to $126,000 a year has about $150,000 in retirement savings. Those of the same age group with greater than $126,000 a year income have saved about $535,000. They also estimate that 40% of those aged 60 to 65 are experiencing a shortfall in retirement savings.

In 2019, more than half the families headed by someone 75 and older still had debt. In 1992, only about one-third of this cohort had debt.

Healthcare expenses eat up a large majority of older people’s budgets. Assisted living costs range from $3,000 a month (on the low end) to $5,000–$6,000. Average health insurance for someone who is 62 is around $1,000 a month for basic coverage.

I think the message I take from this brief look is that we all need to save a little more. I also believe you really do not want to have any debt going into your retirement years. There are so many unexpected life events that can take the best of plans off course. No one plans on having to move into an assisted living center early, but this happens all the time. No one preplans a heart attack or stroke. Life happens!

Healthcare costs are not going to go down or go away. They are some of the biggest expenditures we incur as we age. Investing now in your health can save you a lot of money in the future. Simple things such as going for a walk can make a big difference as we age. Stay active, stay engaged. Always keep learning. Keep your faith. Love God and love others!

One never knows for sure about the future. However, I know He who holds my future. I want to be responsible and do my part in preparing as best as I can, but I am resting in Him.

Author: Dr. Curtis Brown

Tres Leches Cake

I saw my savior being crucified

just the other day

I saw him, Jesus, portrayed on a billboard sign

He was bloodied, battered, and hung up to die

pictured passionately crucified

Hands nailed, and arms spread wide

With nothing but a hurricane-force love in his eyes

The sign read: I love you this much

And before I could process the imagery

of my savior dying for you and me

the electronic billboard sign flashed on to another advertisement

.......

By the way, did you know Ted's is now serving Tres Leches Cake?

I can already hear someone: "It's to die for."

Author: Seth Brown

For more from Seth, read www.sethbrown.blog.