NOVEMBER 2023

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What Motivates You?

If you really want to know someone, learn what motivates them. Obviously, there are many different things that can be motivating to a person, but what I’m talking about is at the core of their being: What is it that motivates you? What drives you? What keeps you going when things are hard?

At a very basic level (even subconsciously), we all have many drives. For instance, we all have the drive for oxygen. If you think you’re not motivated for some O2, see how long you can hold your breath! If you don’t have any drive for oxygen, be sure to tell Noah and Moses hello for me. There are some things we simply cannot live without and survive in this flesh suit.

As important as these things are for our survival, I believe we have equally important drives, needs, or whatever you want to call it for us to thrive from an emotional, spiritual, and psychological level. One of the core needs we all have is the need for purpose. We need to know that our lives have some meaning beyond just breathing and eating.

The world, or our culture, tells us continually that we need to meet all our felt desires. Grab all the gusto you can. You do you. Romans tells us that God will give us over to the desires of our hearts. If you desire him, then things generally will turn out well for you; if you follow the culture’s advice, you’re going to end up on medications you don’t want to be on.

I grew up with preachers who would preach about hell, damnation, and burning. I do believe in such, but the main thing I took away from that was that I didn’t want to burn in hell and suffer with gnashing of my teeth! Maybe they weren’t trying to scare me, but that’s what happened. I was scared straight! I was afraid.

One of the big problems I had with this being scared straight was that I was always afraid after that. I was afraid that maybe my first prayer didn’t “take.” Maybe I said the wrong things, maybe I didn’t really mean it the first time I cried out to Jesus. After all, I kept on sinning.

I lived in fear.

Now, the Bible tells us that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I certainly agree with that. But I think it’s probably better translated as reverence. The “fear” of the Lord, or having reverence for him, will set boundaries for me. It will put healthy limits on my options. Fear, on the other hand, is a terrible motivator. It might get me to move faster or change my direction, but it’s not usually sustainable.

I don’t think it’s fear that will cause a soldier to charge a hill, or a fireman to enter a burning house. Scriptures tell us that perfect love casts out fear. We are also told many times to “fear not.”

In my earliest years of following Jesus, I was motivated through fear. I did not want to go to hell, and I did not want to disappoint God or my family. Fear was and is a terrible motivator. It will wear you out. It will frustrate you, and shame is its close cousin. It wasn’t until I came to a new understanding of the love He has for me that I could enter into His rest.

Love is the greatest motivator of all time. It is for love of country and family a soldier will charge a hill. It is for love of our fellow citizens that a fireman will enter a burning building. It was for love of humanity that He took the cross for us. It’s because of his love that we have hope. It’s in His love that we will find purpose. His love is the source of your divine purpose. His love will sustain you.

I wish I could tell you that love is always my motivation. I hope it is, but if I’m honest, the world’s motivations will sneak in and pull me off course. I must center myself every day in His love.

Start your day with Him. Be grateful first thing in the morning. A grateful heart is hard to scare. Get a band of brothers around you who will love you enough to tell you when you’re being stupid. Stop, breathe, listen. God’s love will lift you and sustain you.

Author: Dr. Curtis Brown

Thanksgiving Day Strategies

I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I like them all, but it seems to be the least stressful to me. I don’t have to worry about buying presents. I don’t usually have to dress up. Hunting season is here. Football and a full belly are to be expected. It seems like most people are in a good mood. The weather is usually really nice. So many things to appreciate about Thanksgiving!

But like most things, there is a shadow side. All that food is hard to say no to. I cannot turn down a piece of pecan pie. Hopefully this year, I’ll keep my promise and only have one piece. Who am I kidding? I never eat just one piece, and usually a piece of pecan pie (when I cut it) is about a quarter of the pie! My wife usually cuts little slivers. Not me, buddy. Go big or go home! I can smell that pie already!

The average American gains anywhere from 5 to 7 pounds between now and the New Year. That’s the average! Who wants to be average? One of the most important things to improved health is to maintain a healthy weight. And for most of us, another five or seven pounds will not do us any favors.

I usually counsel my patients to not try to lose weight this time of year. Weight loss is hard any time but especially during the holidays. I encourage them to try not to gain any! If you don’t gain any weight in the next couple of months, you’ll be about five pounds ahead of most people. January is always a good time to start new things.

But it takes some strategy to avoid gaining weight over the holidays. So, what are you going to do when there’s an unlimited supply of delicious calories calling your name? When your mother puts another piece of pie in front of you without even asking if you want it. You need to think ahead and come up with a plan.

If I have an idea of what to do to control my out-of-control appetite, I have a better chance of staying below the average over the holidays. For example, I simply slow down. If I eat slower, I usually eat less. Plain and simple—slow down. I also try not to kid myself and say, “I’m only eating one sliver of pecan pie.” No, I’m going for it! But I will try not to sample all the other delicious desserts. And again, slow down.

Life is too short not to enjoy yourself over the holidays. Go ahead and eat that extra piece of pie, but maybe not half the cake or all the rest of the cookies. Come up with some sort of strategy to control your calorie consumption. Go for a walk. Drink an extra glass of water. Most of all, take time to be grateful this holiday season. We are a blessed people. We have so much to be grateful for and we are much loved.

Let me know what your strategy is going to be for the holiday season. I’m always looking for some ideas!

Author: Dr. Curtis Brown